it's a new year and time for resolutions and fresh starts.
we all want to be good people, be better, do better and look better.
well, i am SICK of it. i do "good" all the time and i have had it up to here.
i use canvas bags at the market, feed my kids soy nut butter, give to the homeless, write an endless stream of thank you cards and hold open doors every time i walk through one. i am not telling you this to pat myself on the back, i am telling you this because i am tired of helping. tired of trying to be a good person. it can be a real drain.
so today (maybe it was that time of the month, or a holiday too filled with kids home from school or too many relatives, or that i was attacked by a Lorikeet at the aquarium this morning who drew blood after pecking my ear- true story! see photo above) i decided to be a jerk. and eat a lot of ice cream in the middle of the day.
i didn't yield to let the car ahead of me in, i didn't stop to chat with the solicitors in front of whole foods and i didn't turn out lights when i left the room. i was feeling tired of doing "good".
and then it set in. i thought about it for a beat. now, i was feeling bad. and not just from too much ice cream. it was actually harder to be a jerk. it takes more effort and feels really crappy. if everyone felt and acted this way, we would live in a WORSE world than we already do. BUT... if everyone tried to do just a little bit better as a human, we could achieve greatness.
so, cranky tantrum over, ear still throbbing, i thought about it for a minute.
i realized that for some, it's about a strong belief in KARMA, for others it's about GOD and for more, it's just about right from wrong. for me, it's a lot about legacy. i want my kids to see how i behave in hopes that they will mirror that behavior. what do we leave behind when we are gone? did we leave this place better than we found it? did we help spread smiles or hope or laughs or kindness? make any one's life a little bit better? in the end that's all we can do. and that's why i will continue to model this in my home and for this blog. i have no idea if it is helping any of your families and i don't kid myself to believe that my subscribers are doing all these projects every week. BUT, if we all did just a little bit better, and showed our kids how it is easier to be nice, wow, what a wonderful world.
and not just at the beginning of a new year, but at the beginning of each new day.
wishing you all a happy, healthy and Lorikeet-free 2009.
